Conan Exiles, the new game for PC that basically throws you in an unforgiving wasteland to fend for yourself in an atmosphere that spells ‘the weak get eaten and only the strong survive’, makes adepts among hardcore gamers and un-initiates alike, but not necessarily for the reasons you may expect.
PewDiePie is the flag bearer of all things Internet trendy and he could not let this one pass. The thing with Conan Exiles is that it allows you to customize your character down to the minutest details, and that includes your nether parts, which, of course, must be a source of laughs and giggles. Otherwise, it would have been doubtful to draw the undivided attention of the famous YouTuber, known for his unorthodox approach to presenting new game titles.
That being said, one of the most important things that apparently will make hoards of gamers rush to Steam and throw their money at the screen is the ability to customize your bouncy breasts – if you’re a girl, or your flaccid penis – if you choose to play as a guy. There is no pussy customization, apparently, and, in case you are a prude, and you want everything covered, you can slide down to partial or no nudity whatsoever.
So, you can play with yourself for a while and choose what kind of endowment should represent you as an exile in the brutal world of Conan the Barbarian, as you most probably will make great efforts to ignore the unsettling fact that your character is tied to a giant wooden cross. Somehow, you manage to get down from there, in nothing but your birthday suit, if you so choose, and start adventuring.
You may find it disappointing that you will be watching your character from behind. In case you chose to play as a guy, dangling things may get in the way and distract you when wild animals start pouncing on you. (It also looks dramatically dangerous, to have your baby-maker swinging in the wind like that.) However, if you’re a chick, you may feel more motivated to switch the camera around, so you can admire your handiwork at doing a great boobjob for yourself.
It will take you a while to hunt down some animals and get their fur so you can dress up, that’s for sure. That means that you will be spending an awful lot of time running around in the buff, while hoping that the universe will just take a break from trying to kill you. And, for the record, in this brutal world, as the developers insist that is, the size of your boobs simply doesn’t matter. Now isn’t that a shame?
In case playing with virtual boobs doesn’t seem so satisfying and you want the real deal – which means playing with virtual boobs for more than just customizing your character – check out Hentai 3D 2, a sex simulator where you can play with virtual babes and subject them to dirty sex acts as your heart desires.